A Dangerous Journey into New Lands

I’m sick of my hometown! Not only did I spend my whole life there, but I’ve been fighting there for weeks. And you can only see so much of the same place before your heart pulls you to new adventures. I’ve heard whispers about brave orcs venturing north to fight unspeakable evils…so it’s time I put on my brave hat and went north!

A dangerous journey northward

This place is really different…just look at that tree! It’s covered in spikes! I don’t remember any spiky trees where I came from. And the ground is way different over here. Back where I grew up, it was a different shade of brown. And it used to be daytime! It’s nighttime over here. I’m feeling out of my element…guess that’s the cost of exploration. The life of a hero is full of risks!

That looks interesting...is that a cave filled with trolls?

Man, I’m getting tired from all this exploring.

A cave! Thank goodness for civilization. I can’t wait to meet up with my fellow orcs, ready to give me quests and free food. Wait a second, those don’t look like orcs. TROLLS! Even better!! No one would know if I’m fightin’ their kind all the way up here.

Picking a fight is easy when you're outrageously violent

These trolls were pretty feisty. One came running after I blasted him with intense lightning power. I can’t imagine being able to run after getting stunned by my electrical voodoo powers. I guess he was looking for a fight too. It’s on now! I’m going to take it out on these awful trolls once and for all.

What is he?

Geeze, that’s a weird looking troll. He’s way shorter than I am, and his ears are HUGE. Plus, he doesn’t have those hideous troll teeth. Come to think of it, he doesn’t look like a troll at all!

Seriously...what is he?!?

Now, considering what I feel about trolls, you’d think this would be a bonus. “Not very troll-like” is a compliment in my book. But this little dude had removed all non-gross aspects of a troll, and replaced them with even more grossness. Seriously. I’m going to have nightmares about this, you watch.

An epic battle

This was a magic-intensive battle (whew, didn’t have to touch that filthy dude). And anyone who was around to watch was lucky, because this was a magical showdown that should be in history books.

Here I was, zapping with my electric palms. And what does the grossling shoot back with? Fire power! If I wasn’t about to vomit, I would have been totally in awe of how epic my life had become.

My magic wins! Everyone is impressed

This onlooker was truly impressed by my greatness. For good reason, too! Look at all that protective gear he has to wear. I bet he was impressed by my rough-and-tumble take on life. Here I am, taking fire damage on basically bare skin, whereas that chump is covered head-to-toe in battle armor to avoid skinned knees and broken fingernails.

Victory!

Unlike my fights with cheating old-guy orcs, this fight ended the way all fights should end: my enemy on the ground, and me rifling through his possessions to find anything I could use. Chalk up one more win for Walletman!

I should go back home and tell everyone about this weird new race I discovered. They’ll want to know about this, right?

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~ by morscata12 on April 15, 2009.