Quest for a Shaman’s Wisdom

I’m pretty surprised…trolls just don’t stop asking for my help! I thought they knew about that whole “scorpid incident”. Even though they’re smelly/tall/ugly, they do supply some nice gear. Maybe I’ll help this guy here. That seems pretty charitable!

Feeling conflicted

More trolls asking for help? Am I wearing a sign or something?

Turns out he wants to help me become even greater than I am now! Sure, it seems pretty unlikely that a troll would have any tips for a strong orc man like myself, but why not give it a shot?

Speaking of becoming greater, everyone should wish me a happy 4th. Come on, birthday hugs all around. Only from the ladies though. Not sure when I got to be so old, but these things just slip by sometimes.

Due to my high level, this guy begs for my help

Due to my high level, this guy begs for my help

So he’s all “Hey young man, go find me two hooves off some dead hellmonsters. You’ll be wiser when you’re done, I swear!” I guess I need to go on some sort of bloody rampage to prove that I have enough wisdom to be a shaman.

This guy obviously thinks I’m mature for my age, but was totally stalling before telling me about this quest. Lame…I’ve been mature this whole time! I should’ve been sent on a wisdom quest weeks ago. That’s right, Walletman the Wise is ready for a huge dose of wisdom.

I eat you monsters for breakfast!

I eat you monsters for breakfast.You are tiny compared to me! Seriously though, I'm just in the foreground (it's a trick!)

I guess my quest for ultimate wisdom is taking me back to the uncharted north to fight “Felstalkers”. You’d think I’d need some fel on me before they’d want to stalk me. I’m all out of fel so I don’t know if this will go well. Whatever. I’ll rush in now, and consider the consequences once I win.

Another intense showdown

Another intense showdown

And of course, these battles all turn out the same – Walletman is the winner!

To be fair, this guy was pretty tough looking. He had hair where monsters shouldn’t have hair (or are those spikes?) and enormous orc-piercing horns. Plus look at those toenails! These Felstalkers don’t know too much about hygine. I guess that troll wanted them dead so he’ll win first place in the Stink Competition. Ha!

He only had one hoof and one tooth

He only had one hoof and one tooth

You know what’s weird? These guys don’t have feet once they’re dead! Four feet attacking me one minute, but once I win I can barely find even one! This unlucky monster had one hoof and one broken tooth. Where did they go?

Sweet victory. My reward is BLAH BLAH BLAH

Sweet victory. My reward is BLAH BLAH BLAH

Victory! Again! I am chalking up a lot of wins, my friend. Canaga is totally impressed, and rewards me with…a huge lecture. He doesn’t make much sense either. “People will be envious of your wisdom but hate you for your ignorance?” I know people are amazed by my wisdom – and what ignorance is he talking about? Psh, trolls are just jealous.


~ by morscata12 on May 6, 2009.

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