The Death of Walletman

I was minding my own business attacking a monster, when his buddy comes up to join in the fight. Man, I don’t know what kind of crazy world this is now. Where I grew up, monsters kept to themselves and didn’t care what happened to the guy right next to them. That’s what makes them so monstrous – the lack of compassion. But now it’s dangerous to go out at night and pick a fight! Well, I can handle myself in combat…I’m not too worried.

Hey, two at once isn't fair!

Hey, two at once isn't fair!

I’m a little worried now! My healing properties aren’t enough to keep up with the ferocious slashing of these bug-beasts. Uggh I don’t feel so good…

Is this it for me? Is this my last adventure? My life is flashing before my eyes. Nap…nap…fight…flirt…rejected…mope…nap…

I'm dying!

I'm dying!

I feel the spirit leaving my body! Ack! And if not now, then in six minutes. Hey ghostly box, where were you when I was getting beat up just then? It would’ve been a fair fight! I’d club them with my manly club, and you’d slice them from behind with your sharp edges. But WHATEVER. I guess I’ll go see what the afterlife is like for ol’ Walletman.

The afterlife - what a terrible place

The afterlife - what a terrible place

NOT GOOD. This is the most horrible place I could imagine…and now all my nightmares are coming true! What sort of buildings are these? Why does everything look blue and other kinds of blue? These buildings look like…

No…I must be in troll heaven. Yuck! That’s orc hell for me! Well, that’s what I get for helping trolls. The ghost box must’ve gotten mixed up and figured I wanted to hang out with trolls for the rest of my afterlife. Forget that noise, I’m getting out of here.

Hey there, pretty lady

Hey there, pretty lady. Is that your pile of skulls?

Well now this isn’t so bad. Check out this hot chick. She’s flying around, probably waiting for me. I would talk to her, but I don’t have as much charisma without a physical body. How can I flex if I’m a ghost?

Huh, she’s collected a nice little pile of skulls. Probably orc skulls too, judging from the size and sheer awesomeness of the skulls. Hey, is she going to steal the skull from my dead body? That’s messed up, lady. I was going to ask you out…but not anymore. Just forget about it.

My out-of-body experience

My out-of-body experience. That scorpid's coming back for more

There I am! I look so pale and lifeless. My friends wouldn’t know I was dead. They’d probably just figure I was really tired or hung over.

I could probably squeeze back in there if I really wanted to. Not sure…let’s see. Orc-skull-hording ghost lady = bad. Hot chick = good. Neverending stream of trolls = bad. Invisible = good. Really cloudy = bad.

Looks like there are more bads than goods. That’s a shame. So long, afterlife! I doubt I’ll be going through that ever again.

I'm okay! Except now I have no bones

I'm okay! Except now I have no bones

Hey Azeroth: I’m back! Even death can’t stop the amazing Walletman the Wise. Gross, are those my bones?? NOO the skull-hording lady got to my body first! I feel okay (pretty bone-filled if you ask me) but that’s definitely my skeleton down there. Will wonders never cease?

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~ by morscata12 on June 3, 2009.

One Response to “The Death of Walletman”

  1. I was really worried Walletman!!! Don’t scare me like that again!!!

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