Checking Out Troll Town

For all the ladies out there in Durotar who have been disappointed by the sparse dating scene, I have good news: Walletman is back!

I'm back, baby!

I'm back, baby!

That’s right! After my intensive death/near-death experience, I’ve finally gotten over those terrifying feelings of inadequacy and physical danger…and am ready to save the world again.

If you’re worried about me, you shouldn’t be. Us orcs bounce back quickly after horrible experiences. One time, I accidentally cut off all my hair and it grew back in a few days! It wasn’t really an accident at the time, but it wasn’t as distinguished a look as I was going for.

So, what do I do now?

The struggle of life: What do I do now?

I killed a few scorpids and got a nice photo of the aftermath. That basically finishes off my to-do list. So…hmm…

Oh, I did hear some hippie trolls talking about confronting fear to conquer it. I know that through my powers and the few months that I sat and stared at the ground, I’ve already conquered my fears. But there’s nothing wrong with going back to the place where my soul was ripped from the heavens and stuffed back on this world as it was heading into the afterlife. Let’s go!

Time to check out that place

I might want to reconsider...

That place looks like a bizarro version of my hometown. Look at all those squat flopsy trees. I hope it isn’t infested with…

Trolls are everywhere

TROLLS!

Oh no, what have I done? That’s what I get for following hippie advice…now I have to walk around a bunch of sweaty dorky trolls.

Everyone wants something from me

Everyone wants something from me

Look at them all. Out of this totally random sample, half the trolls in this picture want me to do something for them. “Walletman, take out the trash!” “Walletman, I have some roaches that need squashing.” “Walletman, can you flex for me?” NO! NO! NO! This place is a nightmare, a fevered dream by the mother of uncomfortable scenarios and awkward get-togethers.

Whoa...dinosaurs...

Whoa...dinosaurs...

Okay, nevermind all that. There are DINOSAURS here! And they’re loaded up with all sorts of gear. A rope around the mouth, a comfortable place to sit…are those really…for my personal enjoyment? I always imagined riding around in the comfort of my own raptor killing machine. And now my dream can come true! Maybe sweaty trolls have a purpose in life after all.

Man...I can't get a dinosaur!

Sign me up, Zjolnir! Wait, what?

Yeah, Zjolnir pooped on my dream of owning a dinosaur. Yeah, that’s what trolls are good for. “Your dreams are worthless, Walletman. Go find some dumb not-raptor animal to ride around on.” Okay, Zjolnir, you just lost yourself a customer. I was ready to pay you two ruined pelts and a scorpid stinger, but I guess you don’t want that sweet payday.

My angry dance

My angry dance

No one was impressed by my angry dance. I’m surprised, that usually works when I don’t get my way…guess these guys are less easily convinced than my mom.

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~ by morscata12 on October 3, 2009.

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